








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 87 | 6% |
| Smokes | 806 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 49 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 524 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,884 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billiam | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | ImGonnaBashYou | 52% | 384 |
| #3 | tjcola | 50% | 210 |
| #4 | a small, indiscernable object | 49% | 479 |
| #5 | diamondminer48 | 44% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billiam | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | ImGonnaBashYou | 52% | 384 |
| #3 | tjcola | 50% | 210 |
| #4 | a small, indiscernable object | 49% | 479 |
| #5 | diamondminer48 | 44% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImGonnaBashYou | 61 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | a small, indiscernable object | 39 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | tjcola | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | diamondminer48 | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Billiam | 3 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a small, indiscernable object | 1065 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #2 | tjcola | 282 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | diamondminer48 | 176 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | ImGonnaBashYou | 103 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| #5 | Billiam | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billiam | +7.66 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | tjcola | +4.59 | 61 | 36 |
| #3 | ImGonnaBashYou | +2.95 | 55 | 15 |
| #4 | diamondminer48 | +0.52 | 39 | 49 |
| #5 | a small, indiscernable object | -0.51 | 25 | 48 |





