








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1354 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2041 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 904 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1707 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,046,021 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 485 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImGonnaBashYou | 46% | 144 |
| #2 | bl00dhound | 44% | 119 |
| #3 | a small, indiscernable object | 41% | 133 |
| #4 | tjcola | 41% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImGonnaBashYou | 46% | 144 |
| #2 | bl00dhound | 44% | 119 |
| #3 | a small, indiscernable object | 41% | 133 |
| #4 | tjcola | 41% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImGonnaBashYou | 20 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | a small, indiscernable object | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | tjcola | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | bl00dhound | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a small, indiscernable object | 325 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | tjcola | 152 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | ImGonnaBashYou | 85 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | bl00dhound | 7 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tjcola | +3.33 | 62 | 38 |
| #2 | ImGonnaBashYou | +1.61 | 52 | 20 |
| #3 | diamondminer48 | +0.20 | 41 | 48 |
| #4 | a small, indiscernable object | -1.37 | 26 | 46 |
| #5 | bl00dhound | -4.77 | 1 | 6 |





