








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1184 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1419 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1947 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2192 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,415 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt | 64% | 84 |
| #2 | tjcola | 55% | 256 |
| #3 | bl00dhound | 52% | 384 |
| #4 | a small, indiscernable object | 52% | 421 |
| #5 | diamondminer48 | 46% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt | 64% | 84 |
| #2 | tjcola | 55% | 256 |
| #3 | bl00dhound | 52% | 384 |
| #4 | a small, indiscernable object | 52% | 421 |
| #5 | diamondminer48 | 46% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a small, indiscernable object | 35 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Matt | 29 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | bl00dhound | 18 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | tjcola | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | diamondminer48 | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a small, indiscernable object | 992 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | tjcola | 439 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | diamondminer48 | 215 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Matt | 120 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | bl00dhound | 24 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tjcola | +3.58 | 61 | 42 |
| #2 | Matt | +2.22 | 40 | 18 |
| #3 | ImGonnaBashYou | +2.05 | 54 | 19 |
| #4 | diamondminer48 | -0.21 | 38 | 50 |
| #5 | a small, indiscernable object | -0.85 | 27 | 48 |





