








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4097 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3770 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4524 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3384 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $751,007 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1erra^: | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | Hubert | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | snog airsoft | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 57% | 88 |
| #5 | The Milk Man (Bad Rats Fan) | 56% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hubert | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | snog airsoft | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 57% | 88 |
| #5 | The Milk Man (Bad Rats Fan) | 56% | 141 |
| #6 | King of the Sky and the Water | 52% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Milk Man (Bad Rats Fan) | 80 | 0.0282 |
| #2 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 56 | 0.0343 |
| #3 | King of the Sky and the Water | 50 | 0.0303 |
| #4 | Hubert | 5 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | snog airsoft | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King of the Sky and the Water | 354 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | The Milk Man (Bad Rats Fan) | 241 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 107 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | snog airsoft | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hubert | 61 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poggers bro 2 | +4.45 | 75 | 80 |
| #2 | snog airsoft | -0.37 | 51 | 60 |
| #3 | The Milk Man (Bad Rats Fan) | -0.68 | 54 | 50 |
| #4 | s1erra^: | -0.70 | 52 | 65 |
| #5 | Hubert | -1.97 | 25 | 64 |





