








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




220 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3075 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3166 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3193 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2696 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,660,488 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1947 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poggers bro 2 | 56% | 141 |
| #2 | Tommy Salami | 52% | 228 |
| #3 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | King of the Sky and the Water | 43% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poggers bro 2 | 56% | 141 |
| #2 | Tommy Salami | 52% | 228 |
| #3 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | King of the Sky and the Water | 43% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King of the Sky and the Water | 99 | 0.0358 |
| #2 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 77 | 0.0476 |
| #3 | poggers bro 2 | 28 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Tommy Salami | 20 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King of the Sky and the Water | 609 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | Tommy Salami | 600 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | poggers bro 2 | 311 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | 90 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poggers bro 2 | +4.34 | 75 | 81 |
| #2 | Tommy Salami | +3.66 | 76 | 80 |
| #3 | The Milk Man (Bad Rats Fan) | -0.75 | 50 | 52 |
| #4 | King of the Sky and the Water | -1.55 | 43 | 69 |
| #5 | Mr. Krabs and the Gang | -3.21 | 35 | 31 |





