








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 220 | 17% |
| Smokes | 557 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 275 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 248 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,084 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Äse Stígandr | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Dr. Pumpernickel Bumblethump | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Tin | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | echo | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | Nizzy | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | echo | 210 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tin | 107 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Nizzy | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Marvis | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Juan Deagsimo | 29 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | echo | +4.43 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | Äse Stígandr | +4.06 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Marvis | +1.98 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | Tin | +0.49 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | JHizzy | +0.10 | 87 | 52 |





