








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3980 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2857 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2527 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2153 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,744,035 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 520 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grunk$ta | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | Tin | 56% | 167 |
| #3 | Dr. Pumpernickel Bumblethump | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | imBoj | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | Nizzy | 52% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nizzy | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Äse Stígandr | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Marvis | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Tin | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Juan Deagsimo | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tin | 559 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Nizzy | 490 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Marvis | 249 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Juan Deagsimo | 192 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Äse Stígandr | 143 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Äse Stígandr | +2.07 | 52 | 57 |
| #2 | echo | +1.91 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | Marvis | +1.24 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | grunk$ta | +1.17 | 34 | 66 |
| #5 | Tin | +0.60 | 79 | 55 |





