








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 29% |
| Smokes | 258 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 201 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 291 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $102,738 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PH1LP0TT | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | bradd | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | BOB HELLFIRE | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | eNd | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Pitdog | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pitdog | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | Coxy | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | Joshum1 | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | Snodz | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | spice | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pitdog | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | spice | 1 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB HELLFIRE | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Coxy | 17 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #3 | Joshum1 | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Pitdog | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | eNd | 13 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spice | +7.96 | 85 | 46 |
| #2 | Snodz | +4.13 | 97 | 36 |
| #3 | BOB HELLFIRE | +3.09 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | Pitdog | +2.71 | 88 | 38 |
| #5 | bradd | +2.61 | 91 | 50 |





