








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 850 | 30% |
| Smokes | 690 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 668 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 631 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $380,082 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Glorp | 64% | 28 |
| #6 | dennis | 57% | 63 |
| #7 | schmimble's | 55% | 20 |
| #8 | asian09321 | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | the angry pumpkin | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheswick | 215 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Glorp | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | the angry pumpkin | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | asian09321 | 34 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | dennis | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pitdog | +4.47 | 92 | 49 |
| #2 | Glorp | +4.26 | 88 | 62 |
| #3 | BOB HELLFIRE | +4.15 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | Cheswick | +1.16 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | the angry pumpkin | -2.00 | 81 | 32 |





