








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1084 | 29% |
| Smokes | 745 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 823 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1036 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $498,232 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Gamin' Damon | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | DobLs | 45% | 129 |
| #4 | niche | 44% | 156 |
| #5 | BigPaPaSak | 43% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DobLs | 45% | 129 |
| #4 | niche | 44% | 156 |
| #5 | BigPaPaSak | 43% | 112 |
| #6 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 35% | 34 |
| #7 | GingeOceans | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niche | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | DobLs | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | BigPaPaSak | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DobLs | 279 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | niche | 175 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | BigPaPaSak | 111 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 107 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 96 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niche | +5.05 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | +2.22 | 91 | 63 |
| #3 | DobLs | +1.74 | 52 | 66 |
| #4 | Gamin' Damon | -1.50 | 62 | 10 |
| #5 | BigPaPaSak | -2.95 | 37 | 36 |





