








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10 | 9% |
| Smokes | 34 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 31 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 40 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,388 of utility $32 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 41% | 37 |
| #2 | DobLs | 38% | 168 |
| #3 | niche | 37% | 185 |
| #4 | Panic | 31% | 32 |
| #5 | Gamin' Damon | 29% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Panic | 31% | 32 |
| #5 | Gamin' Damon | 29% | 38 |
| #6 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 28% | 39 |
| #7 | BigPaPaSak | 23% | 26 |
| #8 | The X Factor30 | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niche | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | DobLs | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Panic | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DobLs | 503 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | niche | 258 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 216 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #4 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 117 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Panic | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niche | +4.68 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | DobLs | +0.78 | 51 | 68 |
| #3 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | +0.42 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | Panic | -0.68 | 38 | 61 |
| #5 | Gamin' Damon | -1.82 | 41 | 9 |





