








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 277 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1166 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 457 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 551 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,812 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamin' Damon | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | DobLs | 48% | 130 |
| #4 | niche | 45% | 145 |
| #5 | The X Factor30 | 43% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DobLs | 48% | 130 |
| #4 | niche | 45% | 145 |
| #5 | The X Factor30 | 43% | 112 |
| #6 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | GingeOceans | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niche | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | DobLs | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | The X Factor30 | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | GingeOceans | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DobLs | 270 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | The X Factor30 | 220 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | niche | 165 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 94 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 60 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niche | +5.58 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | +2.87 | 94 | 62 |
| #3 | DobLs | +1.80 | 54 | 67 |
| #4 | Gamin' Damon | -0.47 | 61 | 12 |
| #5 | BigPaPaSak | -3.24 | 38 | 36 |





