








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3321 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4355 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3453 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2139 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,796,647 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PP-Bizon | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 49% | 131 |
| #3 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 46% | 230 |
| #4 | BigPaPaSak | 45% | 145 |
| #5 | DobLs | 44% | 474 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DobLs | 44% | 474 |
| #6 | The X Factor30 | 44% | 156 |
| #7 | Gamin' Damon | 39% | 92 |
| #8 | GingeOceans | 37% | 185 |
| #9 | Panic | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 22 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | DobLs | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | BigPaPaSak | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | GingeOceans | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DobLs | 1206 | 0.13 | 32 min |
| #2 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 681 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #3 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 667 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | The X Factor30 | 291 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | BigPaPaSak | 131 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niche | +4.20 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | PP-Bizon | +1.90 | 54 | 42 |
| #3 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | +1.23 | 88 | 65 |
| #4 | DobLs | +0.62 | 50 | 65 |
| #5 | Panic | -1.05 | 38 | 60 |





