








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2081 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1826 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 921 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2001 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,022,429 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | obscure- | 69% | 55 |
| #14 | skilled | 68% | 19 |
| #15 | cheeze | 67% | 15 |
| #16 | Zel! | 63% | 32 |
| #17 | autumn | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killuminati | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Baka | 4 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | jalooper dunker | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | obscure- | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | NeVa | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obscure- | 276 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | xking | 256 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | Ethanol | 205 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | autumn | 180 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mega | 111 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FBE MILKMAN | +3.63 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | Killuminati | +3.32 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | obscure- | +2.85 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | Ethanol | +1.75 | 72 | 76 |
| #5 | xking | +1.67 | 85 | 75 |





