








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2034 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3055 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2549 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1771 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,915,629 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 967 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IceAssBaby | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | leo | 51% | 75 |
| #3 | Thad Castle | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Chicken | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | deymon | 45% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | deymon | 45% | 122 |
| #6 | porciusqc | 45% | 150 |
| #7 | GoldRosso | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | Lare | 42% | 123 |
| #9 | Pedro | 42% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deymon | 79 | 0.0336 |
| #2 | porciusqc | 57 | 0.0199 |
| #3 | leo | 14 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Lare | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Thad Castle | 9 | 0.0153 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | porciusqc | 525 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Lare | 284 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | leo | 209 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | deymon | 208 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pedro | 151 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lare | +2.61 | 76 | 56 |
| #2 | leo | +2.39 | 72 | 46 |
| #3 | deymon | +1.55 | 36 | 45 |
| #4 | Frying pan | +1.17 | 55 | 50 |
| #5 | Chicken | +0.51 | 93 | 47 |





