








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1180 | 28% |
| Smokes | 997 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1287 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 745 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $186,651 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | bienes | 46% | 162 |
| #6 | lightacouis | 46% | 114 |
| #7 | Mr. Scooby Jew | 43% | 90 |
| #8 | deepmuffin | 41% | 119 |
| #9 | sef8 | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Scooby Jew | 32 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | bienes | 28 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | poyraz | 23 | 0.0311 |
| #4 | lightacouis | 21 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | deepmuffin | 17 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lightacouis | +4.76 | 72 | 78 |
| #2 | waoud | +4.67 | 79 | 74 |
| #3 | Autistic Nigga | +4.61 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | bienes | +2.10 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | poyraz | +2.09 | 64 | 19 |





