








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1031 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3689 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3254 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3246 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1622 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,509,275 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dapper Duck | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | OTM | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | Dunken | 54% | 135 |
| #4 | Maren | 51% | 135 |
| #5 | uGGla | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Maren | 51% | 135 |
| #5 | uGGla | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | Mumsitronix | 45% | 56 |
| #7 | boboulder101 | 43% | 21 |
| #8 | sexBengt | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunken | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Maren | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Dapper Duck | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Mumsitronix | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | boboulder101 | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunken | 232 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | OTM | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Maren | 29 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | boboulder101 | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dapper Duck | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunken | +2.72 | 74 | 45 |
| #2 | Munken | +1.77 | 85 | 59 |
| #3 | Dapper Duck | +1.05 | 67 | 41 |
| #4 | Maren | +0.43 | 60 | 33 |
| #5 | OTM | -0.47 | 43 | 61 |





