








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches | ||
| Wingman | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4041 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6108 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5829 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5587 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,867,789 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalmarnäs kanonen | 62% | 90 |
| #2 | OTM | 61% | 54 |
| #3 | Maren | 55% | 277 |
| #4 | Munken | 54% | 135 |
| #5 | uGGla | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | CaRpDiEm | 48% | 160 |
| #10 | Mumsitronix | 40% | 55 |
| #11 | 0/2/30ツ | 35% | 62 |
| #12 | Gurkan i Gräset :P | 35% | 60 |
| #13 | HTN Zeta | 33% | 58 |





