








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
895 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 641 | 21% |
| Smokes | 863 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 729 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 803 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,377 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markow | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Strope | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Summa | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | scared | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | scared | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | Seqret | 47% | 30 |
| #7 | tako | 46% | 28 |
| #8 | willi | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seqret | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | tako | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scared | 169 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | 154 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | tako | 143 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Seqret | 137 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | markow | 27 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markow | +2.32 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | tako | +1.67 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Strope | +1.04 | 86 | 60 |
| #4 | scared | +0.76 | 78 | 74 |
| #5 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | +0.61 | 86 | 58 |





