








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 607 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




176 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2225 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1924 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2256 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1427 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,260,922 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 844 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | pak | 59% | 73 |
| #3 | Nico Simola | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | KAPUPAPU | 54% | 219 |
| #5 | Venni Härkönen | 51% | 232 |
| #6 | casper | 50% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | casper | 59 | 0.0217 |
| #2 | Venni Härkönen | 47 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | KAPUPAPU | 32 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | pak | 25 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | Nico Simola | 6 | 0.0053 |





