








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2859 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2071 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3308 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3886 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,050,541 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1697 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Michael Morbius | 52% | 82 |
| #2 | fatpoo | 51% | 176 |
| #3 | ctzn | 50% | 181 |
| #4 | Daphne | 47% | 278 |
| #5 | keta | 47% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keta | 62 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | Daphne | 39 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | ctzn | 34 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | ifeellikeimguccimanein2006 | 27 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Dr. Michael Morbius | 26 | 0.0153 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daphne | 708 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | keta | 519 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | ifeellikeimguccimanein2006 | 509 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | ctzn | 405 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Dr. Michael Morbius | 314 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keta | +3.59 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | ctzn | +3.52 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | Daphne | +1.01 | 63 | 60 |
| #4 | corneliusgaming | -0.60 | 45 | 43 |
| #5 | fatpoo | -0.78 | 73 | 25 |





