










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 447 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 436 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1271 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 906 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,176,129 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 545 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daphne | 62% | 78 |
| #2 | Dr. Michael Morbius | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | keta | 54% | 97 |
| #4 | ctzn | 53% | 98 |
| #5 | corneliusgaming | 51% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ctzn | 53% | 98 |
| #5 | corneliusgaming | 51% | 176 |
| #6 | ifeellikeimguccimanein2006 | 48% | 95 |
| #7 | ♡ s.leepyhungry | 40% | 30 |
| #8 | landlord | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keta | 44 | 0.0225 |
| #2 | corneliusgaming | 29 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | ctzn | 21 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Daphne | 16 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | Dr. Michael Morbius | 14 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corneliusgaming | 395 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | keta | 311 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dr. Michael Morbius | 266 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | ctzn | 244 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | ifeellikeimguccimanein2006 | 240 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ctzn | +3.84 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | keta | +3.24 | 71 | 55 |
| #3 | Daphne | +1.84 | 65 | 60 |
| #4 | landlord | -0.23 | 60 | 46 |
| #5 | corneliusgaming | -0.47 | 47 | 44 |





