








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 532 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4779 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3210 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3485 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3101 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3613 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,223,742 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fatpoo | 53% | 98 |
| #2 | keta | 53% | 93 |
| #3 | Daphne | 51% | 178 |
| #4 | corneliusgaming | 50% | 181 |
| #5 | So shit | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | corneliusgaming | 50% | 181 |
| #5 | So shit | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | Dr. Michael Morbius | 46% | 65 |
| #7 | ifeellikeimguccimanein2006 | 45% | 83 |
| #8 | Khirax | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corneliusgaming | 47 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | keta | 41 | 0.0217 |
| #3 | Daphne | 26 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Dr. Michael Morbius | 22 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | ifeellikeimguccimanein2006 | 13 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daphne | 410 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | corneliusgaming | 319 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | keta | 291 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dr. Michael Morbius | 252 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | ifeellikeimguccimanein2006 | 164 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ctzn | +2.24 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | keta | +1.99 | 72 | 51 |
| #3 | So shit | +1.83 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | Daphne | +0.42 | 65 | 55 |
| #5 | fatpoo | -1.22 | 74 | 28 |





