








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 367 | 20% |
| Smokes | 280 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 326 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 822 | 46% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,272 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BucK | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | CrimZ | 39% | 69 |
| #3 | fr0st | 37% | 79 |
| #4 | รtєฬเє | 36% | 69 |
| #5 | DaTCiVGuY | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DaTCiVGuY | 35% | 26 |
| #6 | Str1ke | 25% | 12 |
| #7 | KleanCut | 20% | 10 |
| #8 | Hooks | 17% | 23 |
| #9 | scowL | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fr0st | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | รtєฬเє | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | CrimZ | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Hooks | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | BucK | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrimZ | 281 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | fr0st | 193 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | รtєฬเє | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | BucK | 75 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hooks | 57 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fr0st | +5.25 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | BucK | +3.32 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | scowL | +2.05 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | Str1ke | +0.52 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | Hooks | -0.13 | 67 | 65 |





