








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1323 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1460 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1219 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1322 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $593,281 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | deal | 50% | 78 |
| #10 | areS | 48% | 40 |
| #11 | STORM-horus | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | DontaviousTheThird | 36% | 11 |
| #13 | zyvqt | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deal | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Anda | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | [RESA] TERRORIST | 6 | 0.0203 |
| #4 | seal | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | STORM-horus | 3 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deal | 439 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | seal | 249 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | ijakedobekindabuns | 147 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Anda | 128 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | zyvqt | 80 | 0.27 | 2 min |





