








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Faceit | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




151 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11748 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7678 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7048 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6629 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,879,635 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1600 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ijakedobekindabuns | 65% | 82 |
| #2 | seal | 57% | 473 |
| #3 | DontaviousTheThird | 52% | 205 |
| #4 | lil tip, type shi. | 51% | 53 |
| #5 | Forced | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Anda | 48% | 116 |
| #8 | zyvqt | 47% | 127 |
| #9 | areS | 47% | 306 |
| #10 | miiiiiiichael | 46% | 91 |
| #11 | uzi <3 | 41% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | areS | 28 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | DontaviousTheThird | 24 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | zyvqt | 24 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | miiiiiiichael | 19 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Forced | 18 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seal | 932 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #2 | zyvqt | 515 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | areS | 341 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | ijakedobekindabuns | 276 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | eviluded | 271 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seal | +2.00 | 55 | 54 |
| #2 | DontaviousTheThird | +1.51 | 64 | 39 |
| #3 | Forced | +1.13 | 46 | 42 |
| #4 | deal | +0.49 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | uzi <3 | +0.34 | 68 | 51 |





