








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Wingman | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1862 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2760 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1923 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1377 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,271,347 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | zyvqt | 48% | 67 |
| #7 | eviluded | 48% | 40 |
| #8 | deal | 47% | 306 |
| #9 | uzi <3 | 47% | 60 |
| #10 | Anda | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deal | 56 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | DontaviousTheThird | 29 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | zyvqt | 22 | 0.0158 |
| #4 | miiiiiiichael | 9 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | Forced | 9 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deal | 991 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #2 | seal | 326 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | zyvqt | 310 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | DontaviousTheThird | 307 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | eviluded | 135 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seal | +1.81 | 54 | 54 |
| #2 | uzi <3 | +1.57 | 69 | 54 |
| #3 | DontaviousTheThird | +1.41 | 67 | 41 |
| #4 | Forced | +1.00 | 45 | 42 |
| #5 | zyvqt | +0.86 | 45 | 53 |





