








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 604 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 483 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6513 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6180 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5611 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3484 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,610,263 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bill Nye The Tampa Guy | 52% | 62 |
| #2 | Goomba | 51% | 475 |
| #3 | Jameis Winston | 49% | 284 |
| #4 | xJamz | 49% | 370 |
| #5 | Apiheimer | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jameis Winston | 49% | 284 |
| #4 | xJamz | 49% | 370 |
| #5 | Apiheimer | 49% | 55 |
| #6 | Beanie | 47% | 179 |
| #7 | andy | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goomba | 21 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Jameis Winston | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | xJamz | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Beanie | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | andy | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xJamz | 471 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | Goomba | 288 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #3 | Beanie | 247 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jameis Winston | 228 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bill Nye The Tampa Guy | 108 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dxlph | +1.60 | 65 | 63 |
| #2 | Goomba | +1.48 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | Jameis Winston | -0.27 | 60 | 36 |
| #4 | Beanie | -0.33 | 67 | 56 |
| #5 | xJamz | -1.49 | 55 | 47 |





