








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 289 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2001 | 21% |
| Smokes | 122 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 3329 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4231 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,437,322 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 944 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r4mb0 | 58% | 88 |
| #2 | eNIGMA- | 50% | 123 |
| #3 | Mr.Magnamalo | 48% | 320 |
| #4 | Jek | 47% | 204 |
| #5 | Fazza | 46% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mr.Magnamalo | 48% | 320 |
| #4 | Jek | 47% | 204 |
| #5 | Fazza | 46% | 273 |
| #6 | Buff Duck | 45% | 91 |
| #7 | Banfreeze | 44% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazza | 37 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Mr.Magnamalo | 22 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Jek | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | eNIGMA- | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Buff Duck | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazza | 1278 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #2 | Mr.Magnamalo | 687 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | r4mb0 | 681 | 0.37 | 16 min |
| #4 | eNIGMA- | 282 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Banfreeze | 82 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jek | +2.63 | 42 | 37 |
| #2 | eNIGMA- | +1.47 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | Mr.Magnamalo | +1.15 | 45 | 56 |
| #4 | r4mb0 | -0.07 | 34 | 73 |
| #5 | Fazza | -0.21 | 56 | 65 |





