








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 351 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1167 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2878 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 1615 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,410 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r4mb0 | 49% | 78 |
| #2 | The Better Gazelle | 47% | 204 |
| #3 | eNIGMA- | 46% | 100 |
| #4 | Fazza | 46% | 264 |
| #5 | Mr.Magnamalo | 45% | 286 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | eNIGMA- | 46% | 100 |
| #4 | Fazza | 46% | 264 |
| #5 | Mr.Magnamalo | 45% | 286 |
| #6 | Buff Duck | 42% | 91 |
| #7 | Banfreeze | 40% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazza | 34 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Mr.Magnamalo | 26 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | eNIGMA- | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | The Better Gazelle | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Buff Duck | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazza | 1195 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #2 | r4mb0 | 607 | 0.36 | 14 min |
| #3 | Mr.Magnamalo | 595 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | The Better Gazelle | 271 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | eNIGMA- | 218 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jek | +2.45 | 42 | 38 |
| #2 | eNIGMA- | +1.43 | 64 | 57 |
| #3 | Mr.Magnamalo | +0.72 | 48 | 55 |
| #4 | Fazza | -0.56 | 55 | 62 |
| #5 | r4mb0 | -0.71 | 33 | 74 |





