








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4494 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3118 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3757 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5157 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4516 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,493,050 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1088 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r4mb0 | 49% | 124 |
| #2 | The Better Gazelle | 48% | 320 |
| #3 | eNIGMA- | 46% | 179 |
| #4 | Jek | 45% | 286 |
| #5 | Fazza | 45% | 374 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | eNIGMA- | 46% | 179 |
| #4 | Jek | 45% | 286 |
| #5 | Fazza | 45% | 374 |
| #6 | Banfreeze | 43% | 237 |
| #7 | Buff Duck | 43% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazza | 41 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Jek | 23 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | eNIGMA- | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | The Better Gazelle | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Buff Duck | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazza | 1645 | 0.21 | 46 min |
| #2 | r4mb0 | 893 | 0.34 | 22 min |
| #3 | eNIGMA- | 388 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | The Better Gazelle | 379 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | Banfreeze | 120 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jek | +2.41 | 42 | 38 |
| #2 | eNIGMA- | +1.21 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | Mr.Magnamalo | +1.08 | 46 | 55 |
| #4 | Fazza | -0.14 | 56 | 65 |
| #5 | r4mb0 | -0.67 | 36 | 72 |





