








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 501 | 10% |
| Smokes | 560 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1873 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2218 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,960 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 451 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eNIGMA- | 46% | 79 |
| #2 | Fazza | 44% | 185 |
| #3 | Buff Duck | 44% | 87 |
| #4 | The Better Gazelle | 44% | 154 |
| #5 | Mr.Magnamalo | 43% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Buff Duck | 44% | 87 |
| #4 | The Better Gazelle | 44% | 154 |
| #5 | Mr.Magnamalo | 43% | 237 |
| #6 | r4mb0 | 41% | 51 |
| #7 | Jek | 40% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazza | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Mr.Magnamalo | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Jek | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | The Better Gazelle | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | eNIGMA- | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fazza | 792 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mr.Magnamalo | 502 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | r4mb0 | 340 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #4 | eNIGMA- | 172 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | The Better Gazelle | 170 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jek | +2.73 | 42 | 37 |
| #2 | Mr.Magnamalo | +1.02 | 44 | 58 |
| #3 | eNIGMA- | +0.95 | 61 | 68 |
| #4 | Fazza | +0.31 | 57 | 65 |
| #5 | r4mb0 | -0.17 | 39 | 68 |





