








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 137 | 11% |
| Smokes | 397 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 236 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 526 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,029 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boulouloubi | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Salt Goodman | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Fabien "GOAT" Barthez ♥ | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Vkings RMG | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Mrsiriousexen ☭ | 48% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mamie Roulette | 566 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | Mrsiriousexen ☭ | 304 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Fabien "GOAT" Barthez ♥ | 144 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | CAPTAIN ALEX | 67 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vkings RMG | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boulouloubi | +8.73 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | ANDYY | +8.65 | 93 | 49 |
| #3 | Caribou de ficelle | +7.08 | 89 | 29 |
| #4 | Fabien "GOAT" Barthez ♥ | +4.01 | 85 | 63 |
| #5 | Mrsiriousexen ☭ | +3.53 | 62 | 54 |





