








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 851 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




189 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8627 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8836 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9912 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8226 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,917,286 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 873 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OVM - Fattoosh | 61% | 99 |
| #2 | ANDYY | 59% | 210 |
| #3 | Fabien "GOAT" Barthez ♥ | 59% | 87 |
| #4 | KLAAS | 55% | 102 |
| #5 | Caribou de ficelle | 54% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mamie Roulette | 99 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | Mrsiriousexen ☭ | 51 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Fabien "GOAT" Barthez ♥ | 33 | 0.0185 |
| #4 | Caribou de ficelle | 29 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | ANDYY | 21 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mamie Roulette | 1330 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #2 | Mrsiriousexen ☭ | 840 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | Foffy | 642 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #4 | KLAAS | 639 | 0.31 | 14 min |
| #5 | ANDYY | 506 | 0.11 | 11 min |





