








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2685 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2785 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2116 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2450 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,339 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 2fast4me | 49% | 179 |
| #5 | Konsti`- | 49% | 74 |
| #6 | Low™ | 48% | 119 |
| #7 | loutwoot | 47% | 138 |
| #8 | Nenn mich Mariah, denn ich Carry | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loutwoot | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Low™ | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Carry Potter | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | 2fast4me | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | skywar | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carry Potter | 393 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | 2fast4me | 263 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Low™ | 245 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | loutwoot | 125 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | skywar | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knuckles | +0.99 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | 2fast4me | +0.85 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | Carry Potter | +0.00 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | Konsti`- | -0.37 | 48 | 57 |
| #5 | Low™ | -0.82 | 67 | 50 |





