








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 412 matches | ||
| Wingman | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2628 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4838 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4176 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3860 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,008,025 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 684 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taugenichts | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | entry fragger roger | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | Low™ | 52% | 128 |
| #4 | EsoniC44 | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | Knuckles | 49% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Carry Potter | 47% | 114 |
| #7 | MagicMantis | 47% | 195 |
| #8 | JohnnyCotton | 47% | 64 |
| #9 | loutwoot | 45% | 118 |
| #10 | 2fast4me | 44% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Low™ | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | 2fast4me | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | MagicMantis | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Taugenichts | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | EsoniC44 | 5 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2fast4me | 368 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Low™ | 323 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | MagicMantis | 292 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Carry Potter | 259 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Knuckles | 189 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taugenichts | +2.57 | 57 | 73 |
| #2 | 2fast4me | +0.90 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | Knuckles | +0.49 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | Carry Potter | +0.23 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | Low™ | -0.02 | 62 | 53 |





