








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 457 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1806 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3462 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4333 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2937 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,319,285 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nenn mich Mariah, denn ich Carry | 49% | 88 |
| #2 | Knuckles | 47% | 138 |
| #3 | kapele | 46% | 54 |
| #4 | skywar | 46% | 106 |
| #5 | Carry Potter | 45% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Carry Potter | 45% | 249 |
| #6 | 2fast4me | 45% | 406 |
| #7 | Konsti`- | 45% | 118 |
| #8 | Doc Hudson | 45% | 29 |
| #9 | Low™ | 45% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Low™ | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Carry Potter | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | 2fast4me | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Knuckles | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | skywar | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2fast4me | 663 | 0.07 | 17 min |
| #2 | Low™ | 557 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Carry Potter | 519 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Knuckles | 353 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | skywar | 311 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knuckles | +0.97 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | 2fast4me | +0.89 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | Low™ | -0.03 | 67 | 52 |
| #4 | Carry Potter | -0.18 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | Konsti`- | -0.24 | 49 | 60 |





