








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1372 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1439 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1304 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 947 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,101 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | セックスの神 | 83% | 35 |
| #2 | 400km/h peek nasu | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | pilatefin | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Lassi Kulliman | 45% | 159 |
| #5 | WE LOVE | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | セックスの神 | 83% | 35 |
| #2 | 400km/h peek nasu | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | pilatefin | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Lassi Kulliman | 45% | 159 |
| #5 | WE LOVE | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lassi Kulliman | 29 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | セックスの神 | 15 | 0.0231 |
| #3 | WE LOVE | 10 | 0.0189 |
| #4 | pilatefin | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | 400km/h peek nasu | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lassi Kulliman | 508 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | WE LOVE | 152 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | 400km/h peek nasu | 85 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | セックスの神 | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | pilatefin | 27 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | セックスの神 | +8.20 | 98 | 38 |
| #2 | 400km/h peek nasu | +3.52 | 95 | 55 |
| #3 | Lassi Kulliman | +1.11 | 51 | 53 |
| #4 | WE LOVE | +0.23 | 47 | 47 |
| #5 | pilatefin | +0.18 | 53 | 36 |





