








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 591 | 22% |
| Smokes | 722 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 734 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 627 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,584 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabbitlovr999 | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | The Wandering sad Knight | 48% | 50 |
| #3 | hildeeni | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Dirty Mogger | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | Bullet_Assasin421 | 45% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handsomeboy96 | 32 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | Bullet_Assasin421 | 20 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 18 | 0.0195 |
| #4 | The Wandering sad Knight | 15 | 0.0140 |
| #5 | SKULLYKIDD | 7 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bullet_Assasin421 | 155 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | The Wandering sad Knight | 127 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Handsomeboy96 | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | SKULLYKIDD | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +3.01 | 58 | 63 |
| #2 | Bullet_Assasin421 | +2.97 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | The Wandering sad Knight | +2.19 | 57 | 59 |
| #4 | cabbitlovr999 | +1.75 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | jason | -0.25 | 31 | 66 |





