








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




124 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2534 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1784 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3376 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2876 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $976,555 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1002 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | niilo | 42% | 50 |
| #10 | hildeeni | 40% | 52 |
| #11 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 40% | 25 |
| #12 | Stealth_Warrior356 | 37% | 43 |
| #13 | BigDRandy | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handsomeboy96 | 45 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | Bullet_Assasin421 | 32 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | The Wandering sad Knight | 32 | 0.0176 |
| #4 | Stealth_Warrior356 | 27 | 0.0305 |
| #5 | Dirty Mogger | 16 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bullet_Assasin421 | 348 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | The Wandering sad Knight | 251 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Handsomeboy96 | 148 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dirty Mogger | 128 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | jason | 127 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bullet_Assasin421 | +4.18 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | The Wandering sad Knight | +3.67 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | cabbitlovr999 | +1.95 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | Dirty Mogger | +1.63 | 65 | 53 |
| #5 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +1.38 | 58 | 57 |





