








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




150 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2071 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2879 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2302 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2923 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,287,361 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabbitlovr999 | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | Dirty Mogger | 49% | 208 |
| #3 | jason | 48% | 135 |
| #4 | The Wandering sad Knight | 48% | 117 |
| #5 | Toyota #Yaris Tsport 2005 1.5l | 48% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SKULLYKIDD | 45% | 127 |
| #7 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 45% | 65 |
| #8 | hildeeni | 43% | 149 |
| #9 | niilo | 41% | 69 |
| #10 | Bullet_Assasin421 | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wandering sad Knight | 47 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | Dirty Mogger | 30 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | hildeeni | 25 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 24 | 0.0169 |
| #5 | SKULLYKIDD | 23 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wandering sad Knight | 339 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | jason | 256 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Toyota #Yaris Tsport 2005 1.5l | 251 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dirty Mogger | 230 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 218 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wandering sad Knight | +3.73 | 57 | 60 |
| #2 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +2.03 | 59 | 64 |
| #3 | cabbitlovr999 | +1.47 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Bullet_Assasin421 | +1.31 | 80 | 64 |
| #5 | Dirty Mogger | +0.97 | 64 | 56 |





