








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2899 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2706 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3143 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2751 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,643,858 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 802 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toyota #Yaris Tsport 2005 1.5l | 53% | 72 |
| #2 | SKULLYKIDD | 52% | 101 |
| #3 | cabbitlovr999 | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | jason | 51% | 167 |
| #5 | The Wandering sad Knight | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Handsomeboy96 | 49% | 208 |
| #7 | Garfield Kart Enthusiast | 47% | 75 |
| #8 | hildeeni | 46% | 41 |
| #9 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 46% | 61 |
| #10 | niilo | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handsomeboy96 | 74 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | The Wandering sad Knight | 27 | 0.0183 |
| #3 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 24 | 0.0179 |
| #4 | niilo | 13 | 0.0121 |
| #5 | SKULLYKIDD | 12 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jason | 314 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Handsomeboy96 | 260 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | The Wandering sad Knight | 206 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 195 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | SKULLYKIDD | 155 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wandering sad Knight | +3.23 | 55 | 63 |
| #2 | Cheeky Bastard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +1.69 | 54 | 63 |
| #3 | cabbitlovr999 | +1.57 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | Garfield Kart Enthusiast | +1.53 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | Dirty Mogger | +0.53 | 64 | 55 |





