








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 575 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Renown | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1872 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1762 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1822 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1591 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,215,238 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1575 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alf0 | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Sxmbax | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Absolut Vodka | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | ja1mz | 52% | 169 |
| #5 | Albis | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Absolut Vodka | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | ja1mz | 52% | 169 |
| #5 | Albis | 35% | 23 |
| #6 | Lewd Her Mirc | 35% | 26 |
| #7 | Stiek :) | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ja1mz | 16 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Absolut Vodka | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Lewd Her Mirc | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | alf0 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Stiek :) | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ja1mz | 408 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Absolut Vodka | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lewd Her Mirc | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | alf0 | 53 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stiek :) | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ja1mz | +1.27 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | Stiek :) | +1.09 | 58 | 42 |
| #3 | Absolut Vodka | +0.50 | 47 | 36 |
| #4 | Lennox | +0.38 | 47 | 45 |
| #5 | Lewd Her Mirc | +0.24 | 42 | 56 |





