








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 526 matches | ||
| Renown | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 287 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4606 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5703 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4861 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3868 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,747,030 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | DecЯease♥ | 46% | 39 |
| #7 | Stiek :) | 45% | 350 |
| #8 | Cpl. Nutterbutter | 44% | 138 |
| #9 | Nayioma | 43% | 46 |
| #10 | ja1mz | 42% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albis | 14 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Stiek :) | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Aardappel Piraat | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Cpl. Nutterbutter | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | alf0 | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpl. Nutterbutter | 367 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | ja1mz | 230 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | DecЯease♥ | 92 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Aardappel Piraat | 90 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | alf0 | 87 | 0.07 | 1 min |





