








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 771 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2467 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4611 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1323 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3518 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,670 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squid | 52% | 63 |
| #2 | Lupin | 48% | 66 |
| #3 | noscopE | 48% | 94 |
| #4 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | 45% | 94 |
| #5 | Weasel | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lupin | 48% | 66 |
| #3 | noscopE | 48% | 94 |
| #4 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | 45% | 94 |
| #5 | Weasel | 42% | 66 |
| #6 | FkN | rollin' | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noscopE | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Weasel | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Lupin | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | squid | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noscopE | 60 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #2 | FkN | rollin' | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lupin | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Weasel | 33 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | squid | 22 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weasel | +1.47 | 60 | 39 |
| #2 | noscopE | +0.21 | 46 | 47 |
| #3 | ECNERWAL666 | -0.17 | 57 | 25 |
| #4 | squid | -0.26 | 49 | 24 |
| #5 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | -0.28 | 61 | 3 |





