








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2443 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




155 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
27504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8785 | 25% |
| Smokes | 12697 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 9853 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4214 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,556,395 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | salsa | 50% | 130 |
| #2 | FkN | penjamin franklin | 46% | 130 |
| #3 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | 45% | 681 |
| #4 | BeanBlaster5000xTurbo | 43% | 147 |
| #5 | FkN | FukisuK | 42% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | 45% | 681 |
| #4 | BeanBlaster5000xTurbo | 43% | 147 |
| #5 | FkN | FukisuK | 42% | 139 |
| #6 | FkN | Dingle Berry | 40% | 186 |
| #7 | DirtNastyy | 39% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | 40 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | FkN | Dingle Berry | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | DirtNastyy | 18 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | FkN | penjamin franklin | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | salsa | 10 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FkN | Dingle Berry | 303 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | salsa | 191 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | DirtNastyy | 154 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | FkN | FukisuK | 122 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | FkN | penjamin franklin | 92 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | salsa | +1.68 | 14 | 51 |
| #2 | FkN | Dingle Berry | +0.25 | 32 | 47 |
| #3 | Mj2.WasteOfSpace | +0.04 | 61 | 6 |
| #4 | FkN | rollin' | +0.02 | 66 | 43 |
| #5 | BeanBlaster5000xTurbo | -0.17 | 20 | 29 |





