








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3090 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1354 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1349 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 909 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,269 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pommi | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Lady Domina | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | tumma ihonen kehitys vammanen | 49% | 57 |
| #4 | Petri | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Einz | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Jura | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | tumma ihonen kehitys vammanen | 12 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Einz | 10 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Laattaaja54999 | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | Lady Domina | 9 | 0.0204 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tumma ihonen kehitys vammanen | 397 | 0.38 | 6 min |
| #2 | finlasthope | 133 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Eiska | 76 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♿Jura | 69 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Einz | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Einz | +4.74 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | Laattaaja54999 | +2.77 | 54 | 24 |
| #3 | jaskacaseopening.com | +1.16 | 56 | 47 |
| #4 | tumma ihonen kehitys vammanen | +0.35 | 44 | 45 |
| #5 | Pommi | -0.39 | 26 | 41 |





