








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 134 matches | ||
| Wingman | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




175 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10432 | 39% |
| Smokes | 6228 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5555 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4506 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,844,267 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1500 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vz Xtcy | 49% | 109 |
| #2 | HULK | 44% | 253 |
| #3 | zaksprinter.rar | 42% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vz Xtcy | 49% | 109 |
| #2 | HULK | 44% | 253 |
| #3 | zaksprinter.rar | 42% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HULK | 66 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | zaksprinter.rar | 31 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Vz Xtcy | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vz Xtcy | 630 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| #2 | HULK | 620 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | zaksprinter.rar | 175 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASHFAR | +1.11 | 62 | 63 |
| #2 | HULK | +0.88 | 70 | 56 |
| #3 | Vz Xtcy | -0.20 | 32 | 57 |
| #4 | zaksprinter.rar | -3.24 | 41 | 32 |





