








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3731 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2995 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4209 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1039 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,685,456 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRIPS | 44% | 27 |
| #2 | ASHFAR | 44% | 253 |
| #3 | Vz Xtcy | 43% | 150 |
| #4 | kelk59 | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | zaksprinter.rar | 37% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRIPS | 44% | 27 |
| #2 | ASHFAR | 44% | 253 |
| #3 | Vz Xtcy | 43% | 150 |
| #4 | kelk59 | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | zaksprinter.rar | 37% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASHFAR | 83 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | zaksprinter.rar | 25 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | BRIPS | 11 | 0.0186 |
| #4 | Vz Xtcy | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | kelk59 | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASHFAR | 1284 | 0.26 | 26 min |
| #2 | Vz Xtcy | 700 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #3 | zaksprinter.rar | 147 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | BRIPS | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | kelk59 | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASHFAR | +0.91 | 59 | 65 |
| #2 | HULK | +0.73 | 70 | 55 |
| #3 | BRIPS | -0.76 | 51 | 65 |
| #4 | kelk59 | -1.29 | 45 | 34 |
| #5 | Vz Xtcy | -1.50 | 25 | 55 |





