








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1127 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2396 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2110 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2284 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,345,640 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FejkMeisTeR | 51% | 263 |
| #2 | Snusken | 47% | 229 |
| #3 | Gordon klotpung | 46% | 151 |
| #4 | ES | 46% | 136 |
| #5 | Pajala | 41% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FejkMeisTeR | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Gordon klotpung | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Pajala | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Snusken | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ES | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FejkMeisTeR | 959 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | Snusken | 361 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Gordon klotpung | 185 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Pajala | 133 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cpt_Grogu | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |





